Call Waiting

I called You up to hear your voice.

I wanted to listen to the things You had to say.

I needed to talk to You, 

to let You know what was going on in my life.

I was happy about getting You on the line.

As soon as I had established contact with You,

another call came through and I put You on hold.

When I got You back on the line,

You were there, waiting patiently

and wanting to share with me too-

but, as soon as we started to talk, 

there was a beep, 

and I put You on hold again.

This time, I couldn't break from the other call.

When I was done, I didn't expect you to still be there for me

But You were

waiting patiently.

I was feeling guilty about making you wait.

I was ready to vow that I wouldn't let anything get in the way of us

ever again.

But the next thing I knew, the line beeped once again.

I struggled, and debated, what should I do

but I couldn't let it pass,

I chose the other line

I put you on hold again.

Finally, I returned,

and You welcomed me back with words of comfort.

I apologized and You gave me Your forgiveness,

and with that, You told me...

You loved me

and that You would wait for me

forever.

OH my LORD,

What have I done?

How have I forsaken You and yet

 You hung on the line

and waited until

I was ready to listen to Your voice.

God is good, and He is faithful, and it seems some things never change, it is always a struggle to give God my full attention!

The Work Place

I have been blessed by staying at the same school for the past 6 years.  It hasn't been easy to stay, in fact, it is only by the grace of God... I think Satan has tried to get me out, but God keeps bringing me back.  

I have often wondered (especially, when it looks like I will have to move on), "have I completed the work that God has for me there."  And every year, it is clear... the answer is, "No."

Since I have been there, I have had the blessing to share the hope of Jesus with a coworker, who prayed to receive Him.  Currently, I have been sharing with another about what it means to have a relationship with Jesus rather than just being a part of a religion.  

There is yet another coworker, who is in what could be called, spiritual confussion.  She isn't sure, who God is, and even if He really exists... And if that isn't opportunity, I don't know what is.  

I would love your prayers, that as I interact with these lost sheep, that God gives me opportunities, wisdom and the words to say each time the opportunity arises.  

The Good Wife

Have you ever noticed how God does what He wants to do... whether or not you are ready or willing?  

I love my husband, I love being married, but I don't always love being a wife.  I often wonder, why is that the wife is the one that has to do the changing, make the sacrifices, and lead in compromising.  

To be completely honest, I don't like it!  My flesh doesn't strive to be the one to change, but my spirit feels the tugging of God everytime I work against it.  I can hear the Lord speaking into my ear and telling me to do do the right thing.  

Last year, for my bday, I received a couple of books from a friend about marriage, I put them on the bedside table with my Bible, with every intention of cracking them open and trying my best to become a better wife.  But truthfully, it just hasn't happened.  And isn't it funny that I notice them all the more when I am angry with my husband, and then am even more reluctant to read them.  

But here's the kicker:  I haven't cracked a book, but despite my best efforts to dismiss the idea of being "a good wife," God is teaching me the lessons anyway.  I hate it when that happens!  How you might be asking?  At work, where of course it is much more painful.  Without getting into the painful details, and without of coming to my own defense, I will just say that God is teaching me about compromise, sacrifice, keeping my mouth shut, being my own defender, and a myriad of other things that pride drives me to do.  And all this change, comes through various trials.  HMMM.... I think I have heard that before.  

Consider it all joy?!!!  Humph.... 

Why can't it come another way.... 

Yes, consider it all joy.  Cuz today, I am a better wife than I was yesterday.  And tomorrow, I will be a better wife than I am today.  I have my good days, and my bad days, but I am moving slowly forward.  And I look forward to the day, when my Heavenly Husband, stands before me and says, "Good and Faithful you have been, enter into your rest."  

(Then will He pamper me the way I deserve?  just kidding!?)  

And just so you know, my husband, is a good one.  And despite the fact that I can be a spoiled princess, he loves me anyway.  

Being Thankful

I was reading Tammy's blog and I liked her idea of listing reasons for Thanksgiving.

I am not the most faithful of bloggers- I find it hard to find the time.... so I am going to list my 30 reasons (one for each day of November).

1. I am thankful that Jesus chose me, that He loves me, that He is a faithful God and that no matter what- I am in His hands... safe and secure for eternity.

2. I am thankful that some day, I will be face to face with My Savior, My Lord, and My Friend.

3. I am thankful for my husband. He is my love and my friend.

4. I am thankful for my family. It isn't always easy, but they love me.

5. I am thankful for my friends. I have many faithful friends that near or far, are there for me.

6. I am especially thankful for those that are both, friends and family.

7. I am thankful for my "niece and nephews." They are connected to my heart even though we don't share the same "blood line." Aaron, Hannah, and Josh- I love you all.

8. I am thankful for my home. I love my little house and I love that I live in Orange County, and am exceptionally glad that it is still standing.

9. I am thankful for my job. I love teaching. It is who I am. I don't know what I would do if I couldn't teach.

10. I am thankful for my experiences. For better or worse, they have been a part of God's shaping me into His daughter.

11. I am thankful for my car. It gets me where I need to go and doesn't break the bank every time I have to fill it up.

12. I am thankful for the things that I have learned in life: to cook, to read, to write, to paint, to draw... just wish I had learned how to clean!

13. I am thankful for my students. Not just those in my class this year, but those that have touched my life in the last 10 years I have been teaching!

14. I am thankful for my memories... because I sure don't remember things the way I used to.

15. Speaking of memories, I am thankful for my diet coke -even if it is breaking down my memories.

16. I am thankful for my churches, and my pastors. Past and present. I have been amazingly blessed to sit before some great teaching. In 40ish years of attending church I have only had 2 that I called my home... and they were both the best!

17. I am thankful for the Christian colleagues that God has placed in my path in the many years that I have been employed- starting with my first job when I was 16.

18. I am thankful for the way that God meets our needs. It isn't always the way we want, but it is always the way we need!

19. I am thankful for the opportunities that God has given me to be in ministry. Working in the Women' s studies under Sandra, working in the Children's ministry under Julie, and working (so long ago) in the youth ministry under Terry. I have learned many invaluable lessons that I carry with me.

20. Though I miss outside ministry, I am thankful for my current ministry- serving my husband. It is the place that God has me, and I can accept it with gladness.

21. I am thankful that it will be cold again soon.

22. Though I live with a longing in my heart to be in Heaven with my Heavenly Husband, I am thankful for my life.

23. I am thankful for the many women that have been my teachers, mentors, leaders, and examples. I appreciate the time and effort that they have poured into my life. I feel like the most blessed woman to have sat below, with, and along-side these women. Mrs. Brostrom, Gigi, Robin, Mindy, Jean L., My cousin Debi, Ann Boyett, Peggy, Sandra, and Julie are just some of the women that were ministry leaders for me and that taught me so much about God's love and living to please Him.

24. I am thankful for the many forms of communication that we have to keep in touch with those we love.

25. I am thankful for the opportunities that God has given me, especially as I look at the lives of my students, who all recieve free lunches, whose families share houses and apartments with multiple families, whose parents work two jobs, whose families have to hide from immigration, who can't afford to go on family vacations, who have never eaten at a "fancy" restaurant, gone to the beach, gone to the movies, or gone to Disneyland. Who live in gang infested neighborhoods where they see and experience things I wouldn't have even been able to imagine when I was there age...

26. I am thankful for the gift of time.

27. I am thankful for my "old" high school friends that I haven't seen in a long time. Who walked with me when I was a new Christian. Who taught me what real Christianity looked like and sounded like. I am thankful for the laughs that we shared and for the smiles that come to my face even right now as I remember the great times.

28. I am thankful for Ron Pixler... it was at his prompting that I start studying the Bible. It was his challenge that started my love affair with God's Word.

29. Which reminds me, I am thankful for the Word of God... the light to my path!

30. I am thankful to be a wife- most of the time. I am thankful for my many friends that were married before me, and that taught me what it meant to be a wife.

31. I am thankful once again for the fact that Jesus will never leave me, nor forstake me, and that even though I am many times faithless... He is always faithful.

OKay, so I went over 30...