A Hearing

Some things never change, and some things never stay the same... my job does both. At the end of the year- I will once again be without a job. That hasn't changed much in the past 7 years. But what is a change, is that thanks to the messed up California econonmy, many permanent teachers in the district will also be out of work at the end of the year. So that is not the same.
Because of the lay-offs, the chance of getting re-hired is significantly diminished. Less positions for next year, means (obviously) less opportunities. And the words "Temporary Teacher" won't even be thought of until all the permanent teachers from our district are given their jobs back.
So what is God going to do?
Many of you know that this is not the first time I have been through this, though it certainly feels more scary than ever before. And, even though my mind and my experience tell me how faithful our Father is, I can't help feeling the sense of panic in my heart that I get at this time every year.
One other thing is different: the district is allowing us (the temporary teachers) to be involved in a hearing. We will meet before a judge and be represented by a lawyer. The judge will hear our case and make a ruling (on behalf of all temps is what we expect) about whether the district has had the right to keep the teachers in temporary status for all these (6 or more) years. The hearing is May 1. I am asking all of you, my friends to please pray for this hearing. Pray for God to be merciful upon me to bring about a judgement that would help me to be made permanent.
The best case scenario could be that I am made permanent and I am given credit for all my years in district... this would mean that I have 6 years seniority and I wouldn't be subject to a lay-off. Worst case scenario is that the judge rules in favor of the district and I am kept in temporary standing and would not likely get re-hired. Then obviously between the worst and the best- there is also the possibility that I am given permanent status but I don't get my seniority. I would be subject to lay-off, but with a higher possibility to be re-hired because I am already considered an employee who just needs a position.
The truth is... I would like to tell God what to do- tell you to tell Him what to do and I would get to keep my job. But, I know that isn't how it works. And by asking you to pray that I would be strong enough to trust God whatever the outcome... well I DON'T LIKE THAT PRAYER ONE BIT! But... it is good. So please, pray for me, for my job, for my heart, for the hearing on May 1st. Thanks.

Progress

Today is a good day, I am on a losing trend. I tend to lose weight in chunks, a pound a day for several days in a row and then I stop losing (I don't know how to spell pla-toe) for a week or more. The days I don't lose can get frustrating because I will go sometimes as much as 3 weeks without dropping a pound, but then I will lose 5 lbs. in one week. So today, I lost another pound, that makes 39 all together. Since I started making these changes in my lifestyle, working out (started Jan. 12) and counting calories (started Jan 23) I have lost 39 lbs. :)
I bought some new pants a few weeks back that were two sizes smaller than what I had been wearing. I bought them because they were 7.99 and they didn't have my size. When I brought them home, they didn't fit... thise week, I wore them to work. Today I am wearing a blouse that I bought several years ago- probably about 5 years ago- it fits great, not too tight. It's been a good week.
My husband started working out with me this week, and I am not sure how I feel about that. Although we don't really work out "together," I kind of miss that time at the gym as "MY" time. But it is nice to have someone say, "Let's go to the gym," instead of saying, "Let's go eat!"
It is good to feel better about myself and not worse.
My brain thinks I am skinnier than I am, so when I see myself in the mirror I am reminded how far I still have to go- that little shot of reallity is good- I feel better, but I see I can't quit!

Losing

Osmel and I have decided that we want to take strides to get healthier this year. I have been dragging my feet and living in denial for 2 years now, and I know that it is time to make some changes. Thankfully, he is ready to take the ride with me. He joined the gym and we are going to work out together. We are trying to make healthier food choices and we are trying to encourage one another to do the right things.
My husband and I speak different languages. When he says I have to join the gym and we have to start going, we aren't talking the same language. I have an addictive personality, so once I start, I go full board until something derails me. So I say go everyday, he says, 3x a week was plenty. When I said I want to go work out after work, he said I worked out at work. When I say let's eat a light meal- he says Subway Tuna sandwich... footlong at 1,06o calories...
So we will try this journey "together." And the most frustrating thing, is that he will probably lose more weight more quickly than I....
If anyone is interested, I have found a couple of internet help sites.
Everyday Health http://www.everydayhealth.com/ is free to sign up. Once you sign up, you have access to blogging, diet and excercise tips, an online journal to keep track of your calorie consumption, and some other great helps.
An other one is The 50 million pound challenge
http://www.50millionpounds.com/
Both of these websites are free and have a lot of great resources to help keep us on track!

A New President

It doesn't matter what political beliefs any of us have, or who we wanted to win the new presidency... today, watching the first non-white president take office, I was in awe of our country.  I was grateful to be an observer of today's events.  I was overwhelmed with emotion today as I watched and listened to all that happened... 

I am grateful to our Father for His grace and mercy that He has poured out on our country, and my hope and my prayer is that in the afterglow of today's events, that God continues to bless our nation.  

 

What a Surprise!

When Osmel told me he wanted to go visit his family in Cuba during the Christmas/New Year holiday, I was thinking- hey cool, time alone when I am on vacation.  I was thinking of all the things that I could do.  But things didn't work out like I had hoped and as the time is drawing to a close, I am realizing how desperately I miss my husband... I have been feeling this horrible sense of fear and deep sadness while he has been gone that I haven't undestood.  Then I talked to him tonight and I realized that missing him was more a part of it than I thought it was.  I don't think it is the whole picture, but I do think that it is a big part.  God in His sovreignty saw it fit for none of the things that I hoped to happen did, none of the friends that I had hoped to visit with were able, and I spent the majority of the three weeks alone.  Hmm... when God decides that He wants our attention, He will use every means necessary to get it!!

I will say that the expression, "Absence makes the heart grow fonder," is very true.  The fun part of having him gone is that it was like before he came, I got a love email almost every day.  And tonight, when I talked to him after almost 2 full weeks, it made me so happy, I hadn't felt that in awhile!

Questions for Exodus 2

So as I begin reading the story of the Exodus I start to ask myself questions- why did Moses have to be raised by Pharoah's daughter and not by his own family?  And how did it change him?  How long did Moses live with his real family before going to live with pharoah's daughter.  Who told Moses he was an Israelite?  What kind of relationship did he have with Egyptian family?  Was it ok that he married a Midianite?  How did God feel about that?  vs 23 says that when Pharoah died, the Israelites sighed and because of the bondage, they cried out to God.  Was it a sigh of despair?  or was it a sigh of relief?  Were they hopeful that a new pharoah would bring back better times?  Why does this cause them to cry out to God?  Had they cried out to God before?  What were they wanting?  Did they know the things that God had promised their father Abraham? 

My Life as a Puzzle: Reflections on Exodus 2

I gotta comment again on how cool this journal is- as I am writing about how God miraculously brings about the salvation of Moses as a baby- I read at the bottom of my journal page- The eyes of the Lord are over the righteous, and His ears are open unto their prayers" 1Pet. 3.12 and of course I read it knowing that the characters of Exodus 2 were fervently praying to God to save the baby.

I love reading the stories that fill the pages of Scripture.  Stories that make things sound like things are working out coincidently.  It uses phrases like, "Now it came about..."  it leaves out the phrase "by God."  And that is what we see in Exodus 2.  It is an incredible story about how God saves a baby named Moses.  There is no mention of how God is the one that brought about the extraordinary circumstances, we do know that He is the author of all things.  

I think about my story as I read the story in Exodus.  (And being very familiar with the story, rereading stirs memories of what I haven't even read yet)  I think about the times in my life that God worked together the many details of my life. 

And guess what scripture is on the bottom of the page as I write about Exodus 2:  Romans 8.28- and we know that God causes all things to work together for good to those that love Him and are called according to His purpose.  

 If I let myself think outside of what Scripture says right here in Ex 2 and taking into consideration the whole story, I can see all of my life and experiences...

God has a plan for my life.  Every event has its place and purpose.  Maybe all events aren't what God would've wanted for my life, but none of them surprised Him or caused Him to altar His plan for me.  

And just as I may never be able to answer all the questions that I have about Exodus 2, I also  may not be able to answer all the quesstions of why did this happen this way or that way in my own life, but that is because the reason doesn't change the reality.  Why God did it or allowed it isn't half as important as the end result.  The process makes an impact that's for sure, but not every piece individually completes the picture enough to change the look- the end result.  

Why did Moses kill the Egyptian?  Was that God's will?  Did that act come from God- was it God that ordained it or did God use the experience to mold Moses?  

That can be paralleled in my life with, "Why did I get involved with that guy in college?"  Was our relationship ordained by God?  Willed of God?  Or, did God just use the situation, the experience to His good to shape and form me?  

Did I take one beautiful piece that God had intended and break it down into several pieces.  Did it mar the beauty of the final result?  Did it complicate and prolong the process?  

We know that God works all things for good- but is that the good or the best?  

Imagine a puzzle.  64 pieces.  Beautiful when it is finished.  Perfect.  But when putting together the puzzle I take 1 piece and I break it down into 10 smaller pieces.  They will still fit together in the end but I complicated the process.  Will it still look the same at the end when the pieces are all put together?  Well yes and no.The final image will still be the same image- a picture of a dog will still be a picture of a dog but it will look different then originally intended.  Slightly marred perhaps, or maybe a little more choppy, but ultimately, coming together still to complete the puzzle.