Are You Still Married?

I recently ran into someone that I hadn't seen in awhile. One of the first questions that came out of her mouth was, "Are you still married?" The next one, "Are you still happy?"
About a year ago, Osmel had to get a physical as part of the hiring process for a new job. When the doctor came in, he asked Osmel how he was doing, asked about his life, asked about his wife... and it became increasingly obvious that this man knew us. Osmel didn't remember meeting him, so he asked him, "Do you know me?" It turned out, the man went to the same church we attend. He was somewhat new to the congregation, and he told Osmel that though he had never met us, he knew of us. Someone had not long prior to that day, shared our story with him... so our story was fresh in his mind. When Osmel came back to the car, he related the story of what had just happened, and we were reminded again- People are watching us.
Osmel and I realized a long time ago, that we are a testimony. A testimony of God's timing and we are living, breathing proof, that His plans for us are good. We try to keep it the front of our mind. We feel a sense of responsibility knowing that our lives are on display.
Before we were married, when our story was just unfolding before us, and as God was bringing us together, I realized that I had an arranged marriage. It was an arrangement made by my Father, and by Osmel's Father. That is, our Heavenly Father. It was an arrangement that was meant to benefit all. It was arranged because of love- Our Father's love for us. We understand that not everyone gets it. We don't always get it either. And I'm not saying that our life is without problems, or without fights, or without unhappiness. We go through the ringer just like all couples. The good times are good, the hard times are hard, but God's faithfulness to us during the prewedding times, gave us something not all couples get- assurance. We knew 100% (and still do) that this was God's perfect will for our life. That He wanted us together. And what God wants, God gets!

The Loss of a Friend

Many Christians don't really get death, they don't see it as a gain- they see it as a loss and they don't look forward to it. Others take on the attitude, I want to go to heaven after ___. Not yet, not until I have experienced all that I desire. But me, I look forward to the day I get to stand before my Savior; and I hopefully will hear Him call me His good and faithful servant. A dear friend of mine recently went home to be with the Lord. It was sudden and unexpected, and it left me with a feeling that I can't explain. A sense that I'm missing something... but I can't quite put my finger on it.
As I sat in the memorial service, I started to remember all the things that were special about this wonderful, wonderful lady. The ways that she blessed my life, that she may not have even been aware of. As people shared, it brought to mind so many things I had shared with her. I was overcome. Not for her, for me, for those of us that will miss her smiling face. And during the sevice, I wrote her a letter and I cried.
The truth is, I lose friends all the time. People move away. Changes in life bring distance. New jobs. New churches. New plans. New ministries. People come and go. And though they are gone, they are never forgotten. There are many who have gone whom I miss very much. We can't always help it when we lose a friend. But when you can help it... don't!

Responsible Blogging

I journal regularly, and I have off and on since I was about 16. I find that it is useful in so many ways. My journal is a source of meditation. I can read a passage of scripture, then think about it and meditate upon it through my writing. Journaling is also a way to pray focused prayers. I can write letters to God to tell Him about my deepest feelings, sharing my praises and my prayer requests with Him in a clear, and focused manner. Journaling can also be a way to store memories; writing about how I feel and the things that I have done and experienced. Finally, my journal can be a safe place to vent. A place that I can write about the frustrations and tribulations of everyday life. I can go and verbally vomit in my journal and it helps to flush away all those negative feelings.
I know that many people see blogging as an online journal, and with that, they feel freedom to express whatever they want because it is their personal and private space. But it isn't. Especially if people you know are reading your blog.
We need to be careful about what we say in cyberspace.
As I am writing, I am thinking about the people that will read this blog and I chuckle to myself because you all know it... but I see this sight as practice for writing "The Book." So sorry if I get a little preachy :)

Enjoying the Summer

For the first time in quite a few years, I actually know that I have a job before the school year ends. AND, I don't have to move. I don't have to change classrooms, change tracks, change grades, or change schedules. Everything except the students will stay the same. I am looking forward to a visit in Arizona- mark your calendars and let's schedule lunch! I want to be there for Hannah's birthday so July 26 will be the target date, I just don't know how much time before or after.
I also am looking forward to visiting my aunt in Oregon. This is a tentative trip cuz gas is so expensive and she lives in the northern part. But hopefully, my mom and I will go up and visit a few places on the way up or back. Finally, we're hoping to get a few days (Osmel, my dad, and I-- and probably my brother-in-law) in Southern Utah- we like to go fishing and just relax. It is one of the prettiest places on earth and it is a trip I really love. Gotta spend as much time with my dad as I can- he just turned 72 and I am realizing more each day that the time here is short and precious.
Finally, this summer I hope to get some reorganizing done and paint at least 2 of the bedrooms and create an office. I have so much stuff!
Well, in a pefect world, those are my summer plans. We'll see how much I get done.

A fly on the Wall

So much pressure to post... I hope you girls enjoyed your chats. I read them all. It was like being a fly on the wall and listening in on other people's conversations.

I'm Getting Older

It is funny how things change as we get older. I can't do all the things I used to be able to do. I don't want to do many of the things I loved to do. I don't listen/hear the same. I used to love loud music, and now loud music irritates me. I can't see the same. I used to laugh at my dad when he would pull out the flashlight to look into a dark corner, and I do the same. I don't have the energy I used to have. I can't stay up like I could. And now I understand it when the old people sit around and talk about the things that their bodies do, or don't do.... because my brain feels the same. Which is the biggest trick of all. I still think that I am the same.

Blogging, is a new experience for me. Though I have kept journals since I was 16, and though I dream of writing a book some day, I am treading on new ground by making my private writing a matter of public record. I suppose I see it as the first step to accomplishing a lifetime goal. So here we go....My friend Julie used to have us (the members of a small leader's accountability group) write thank you letters to the Lord at the end of each year. I haven't been so faithful to the practice, but I thought it would be the perfect way to start this year, and start this Blogging experience.Thanks Lord for 2007.2007 was a busy year. My goal for the year was to keep my head above water. I was teaching first grade for the first time and trying desperately to stay ahead of my class. Trying to master a new grade (again), trying to get those naughty first graders to follow the rules, stop talking and learn all they were supposed to learn, and... trying to shine in the process was a lot of work. I was also teaching adult ed- English as a second language (ESL). I had a small group of ladies diligently working on their English skills and though it was a lot of fun- and I met some fabulous people (and practiced my Spanish), it was hard working two jobs.We, the temporary teachers of the district learned early on that we would not be getting promoted to probationary positions in 2007 and once again we would face the possibility of losing our positions at the end of the school year. So I started saving money to try to prepare for the possibility of unemployment. Deja-vu!As June was fast approaching, I started seeking what You would have me do... was it time to leave? Or was it yet another opportunity to watch You open doors that seemed impossible to open? I wasn't getting any answers. There was going to be an opening at my school for a 2ND grade teacher, but I wasn't being promised the job. I was going to have to interview for that position.At the same time, the doctors found a lump in my breast with my first mammogram. They wanted to do a biopsy and figure out if it was something that needed to be dealt with. Because of the timing of it all (the end of the school year), I lost my insurance before I had an answer to the question- is it cancer?So June came, no work, no insurance and no answer as to what You Lord were calling me to do. In most years prior, You had made Your intentions clear- I was staying. It may have seemed impossible, but You would tell me- and I would wait and watch to see how it was going to be brought about.This year, the message was.... NO MESSAGE!I didn't have a promise, I didn't have a clue. You were however showing me through the books of Exodus and Joshua that you had plans for me, that You had intentions of using me, but I didn't know where and I didn't know how. You were also showing me that like Pharaoh's heart had been hardened against Moses and the Children of Israel, so you had hardened hearts against me. And just as You would do a work to reveal Yourself and subsequently soften Pharaoh's heart, so that was happening for me. But with this new understanding of my situation, came confusion of what did it all mean. Then, when I interviewed and didn't get the position, I got it. So my thought was, it was time to move on. In fact, you were speaking to me about going back to the starting place, just as you called Moses back to the burning bush. But I didn't know what that meant. Retail? Food Service? Christian School? What is the starting place? The starting place for working in public school just fell through. Back to second grade, staying at my school, that wasn't going to happen. I must say, I was devastated.But then Lord, when I was ready to pull the plug on teaching and move on, You opened doors that seemed impossible and I got a call to come sign a contract... back to my old school, back to the starting place- 2ND grade.And here I am Lord, thanking you for the difficult times of uncertainty in 2007, because as always, You proved Yourself to be faithful and You brought me out!I love you Karen
Labels: Thank You Lord for 2007